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shyshyshilohfrom this!
i talk about music and specifically kpop enough as it is, so i wasn’t really sure what direction i wanted to take this. i also, despite having strong and plentiful opinions about said music, have always found it difficult to do objective rankings. some music is better in some aspects and other music is better in other aspects! and while it is totally possible and even reasonable to look at it from a listmaking lens, i just don’t really work that way.
if it were more interesting, i would just make this my top 10 from spotify wrapped last year. unfortunately last year i got hit by a bus and that bus was named izna, so it ended up looking like this:
you see my problem here? 😭 and anyway i’m trying to find other platforms to listen to music on rn so. that’s what it is.
but i love listening to music and it guides a lot of my writing. so i thought, why not talk about that? hence, a list of songs/playlists i listened to in the process of writing certain fics, whether their influence was big or small. and i’ve already mentioned some of them here and there in commentaries and eoy roundups, but i’ll try not to say too much of the same stuff.
also the one thing that should objectively be on this list but won’t is whale fall, because while it has a fic playlist and is heavily influenced by the blue valentine album and is inspired by the career trajectories of both nmixx themselves and fall out boy, i wrote about all of that pretty extensively in its commentary, so i don’t think it bears much more repeating haha.
i talk about music and specifically kpop enough as it is, so i wasn’t really sure what direction i wanted to take this. i also, despite having strong and plentiful opinions about said music, have always found it difficult to do objective rankings. some music is better in some aspects and other music is better in other aspects! and while it is totally possible and even reasonable to look at it from a listmaking lens, i just don’t really work that way.
if it were more interesting, i would just make this my top 10 from spotify wrapped last year. unfortunately last year i got hit by a bus and that bus was named izna, so it ended up looking like this:
- Shape of Love - NMIXX
- TIMEBOMB - izna
- All Mine - f(x)
- FAKE IT - izna
- DRIP - izna
- IZNA - izna
- Blue Valentine - NMIXX
- BEEP - izna
- IWALY - izna
- SIGN - izna
you see my problem here? 😭 and anyway i’m trying to find other platforms to listen to music on rn so. that’s what it is.
but i love listening to music and it guides a lot of my writing. so i thought, why not talk about that? hence, a list of songs/playlists i listened to in the process of writing certain fics, whether their influence was big or small. and i’ve already mentioned some of them here and there in commentaries and eoy roundups, but i’ll try not to say too much of the same stuff.
also the one thing that should objectively be on this list but won’t is whale fall, because while it has a fic playlist and is heavily influenced by the blue valentine album and is inspired by the career trajectories of both nmixx themselves and fall out boy, i wrote about all of that pretty extensively in its commentary, so i don’t think it bears much more repeating haha.
- Cars 2 (Original Soundtrack) for chicane — completely unserious one to start. the lyrics don’t really go with the plot at all, the cars series is about stock and not formula cars (francesco bernoulli doesn’t count and neither does lewis hamilton’s cameo ☝️), and even then cars 2 specifically is barely about racing it’s a spy movie. it’s literally just so i can spin pictures of cars in my head while listening and continue to not write the 3rd chapter (i’m getting there!!!). also yes the chapters are named after the song titles <- dumbest idea for an easter egg i’ve ever had.
- “FLY HIGH!!” - BURNOUT SYNDROMES for wings to echo the light — it’s about (indoor) (not beach) (look i know) volleyball and it’s my favorite haikyuu op. but the lyrics work and there’s a perfect amv in my head to this. title of fic is taken from the lyrics to the official english version ofc.
- “Doubts” - PUP for sidepull — lyrics aren’t a perfect match, but i was listening to a lot of pup at the time i was writing the fic and their music is always very good at capturing the minutiae of being compelled to do crazy things in the wake of a disastrous breakup. very useful for getting into the headspace. also really fun to try and keep time with because of the constantly changing time signatures.
- “Anthems For A Seventeen-Year-Old Girl” - yeule (cover) for will you call my name? — i have never ever had feelings about growing up in the suburbs. just kidding i didn’t actually watch i saw the tv glow until after i wrote the fic but i listened to the soundtrack anyway and this song irreparably damaged me!
- “Bob Dylan” - Fall Out Boy for roaring game — lyrics go wayyyy beyond devotion straight into obsession but you know how it is. sometimes you just listen to songs when you write things and then they become eternally linked in your mind despite not being a complete match. i also forever associate this song with curling itself and like. lol. (btw i’m never going to finish this fic, but i just have to say! it’s been so cool to see team gim, the irl team that saerom & co. were based on, playing at the olympics. i’m a little crushed that they’re not going to medal but it’s fine. i’m so fine.)
- Everything in Transit and People And Things - Jack’s Mannequin for vis-à-vis — there is a throwaway line like two-thirds through the fic where hyeju says her favorite jack’s mannequin album is everything in transit and hyunjin says her favorite is people and things. setting aside the absolutely hilarious and transparently self-indulgent prospect of either of them listening to jack’s mannequin, much less listening to enough jack’s mannequin to have favorite albums, i did in fact set this up to do, like. not a load-bearing amount of character work, but way more than was ever warranted about, again, a single throwaway line regarding jack’s mannequin albums. everything in transit is about escapism + the way it backfires and loneliness and the naivety of loving someone who is too mature or too cagey or too anything for you. people and things is about restlessness and an obsession with running from intimacy/connection/redemption, which is finally coaxed into acceptance and inner peace. like COME ONNNN. yeah that’s right, i can develop characters through anything. anything but actually writing them.
- fic playlist for corvi volantes — i did actually make a fic playlist for corvi volantes but never linked it because a.) the anonymity period and b.) it’s a hot mess. and i will continue to not link it because i might not need to be anonymous anymore but it is still literally anything, like seriously it’s a wall spaghetti of a playlist. HOWEVER my favorite and most relevant songs off of it are:
- “CROW” - UPIKO (+1 for crow theme, +1 for lyrics)
- “Top of the World” - Greek Fire (+1 for lyrics)
- “FLY HIGH!!” - BURNOUT SYNDROMES (yes, again) (+0.5 for crow theme, +0.5 for lyrics)
- “I Wanna Get Better” - Bleachers (+0.6 for lyrics)
- “Tell Me It’s Okay” - Paramore (+1 for lyrics)
- “Canary in a Coal Mine”, “Allies or Enemies”, “Little Soldiers”, “Never Love an Anchor” - The Crane Wives for friends of empty graves — i’m sorry it’s been like a year and a half and these still make me so so crazy. i was going to pick out my favorite lyrics but they honestly don’t do the songs justice like that. everybody please listen to the crane wives!
- fic playlist for and pedrolino smiled at pierrot — at the time i wasn’t convinced, but you know what, i think this has grown into something that i really think of as a companion piece to the fic. lyrics are what they are but it’s cemented a place in my head nonetheless. i still listen to it like, just for fun* sometimes (*definition of fun varies depending on whether or not you like imagining fictional relationships destined to fail) and if nothing else, the music itself bangs. also still proud of my absolute stubbornness in making sure that every single song had a predominantly brown-colored album cover for genuinely no reason.
- fic playlist for pas de deux — i also still listen to this for fun and by fun i mean whenever i want to feel miserable! out of the fic playlists i’ve made i think this is the one that’s the most “perfect”, in terms of lyrics, mood, overall presentation, blah blah blah. NOT really a real metric in ficdom but what is it if not setting weird arbitrary metrics and finding the most fun ways to fulfill them anyway. i will not have smart or remotely concise commentary to provide about this so here are my favorite lyric snippets from each song instead:
- “How do you feel being a girl? / Man, I don’t know, I’m just a girl” - “Girl, so confusing”, Charli xcx
- there is also a perfect amv in my head to this. i knowww it’s technically about the charli / lorde of it all but. there’s pas de deux juice in here. i see it even if i can’t communicate it
- “I watch her face, I know it well / She looks like me at seventeen / And I can’t shake the parallel / But I feel like a parody” - “Spinning”, Pom Pom Squad
- “Do you still wake up reaching for an empty space? / Do you start to miss your sadness when it goes away? / Do you wish your parents gave you someone else’s name?… Do you wish that he would call you by another name?” - “Isobel”, Flower Face
- “Ain’t it nice to have a body?” - “Gisele”, Willa Mae
- such a lucky discovery with this one. perfect title and very very on theme
- “My defenses dull my senses / I don't stop to catch my breath / ‘Cause my body moves itself like it's possessed” - “Running from Myself”, Pom Pom Squad
- “And my ribs are / Metal cages / To guard my heart” - “Hard”, Hayley Williams
- there is also a line about “testosterone music” in this song that amuses me even if it’s not 100% in-character
- “Didn’t grow up in a normal world / And now I’m just an adult girl… Now I understand the world / Of adult boys ‘cause I’m an adult girl” - “ADULT GIRL”, MARINA
- “I don't know why I am / The way I am, not strong enough to be your man” - “Not Strong Enough”, boygenius
- i mean come on. come ON
- “How do you feel being a girl? / Man, I don’t know, I’m just a girl” - “Girl, so confusing”, Charli xcx